Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Sorry about my life...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
