I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You were trust falling into bushes
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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