Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
