Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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