Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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