he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Damn victory sex feels great
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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