Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
