and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
