Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
