Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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