11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
