my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
