Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
