you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
