i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
