I am in a vortex of obligation.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
