Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize