just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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