where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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