When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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