he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize