we have pet lesbian snakes
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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