What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
