susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
