Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
