he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
