Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
