please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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