I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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