Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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