my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Randomize
