You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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