This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
