I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
