as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
