so explain again why im purple
no
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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