I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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