Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
