I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize