it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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