I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
