I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
