Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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