I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
and you fell through a lawn chair
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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