pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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