She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
