And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
