wat bout pragnant strippers??
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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