The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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