Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
