do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
