Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
