Sober January is a disaster.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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