I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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