I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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