I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
