i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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