Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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