You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
