she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
