i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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