why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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